10 things that i don't want for Christmas

Ngayong malapit na ang pasko, asahan mo ang mga bagay na ito, pero sana hindi ako makatanggap nito:

1. MUG. ang malimit na nakatatanggap nito ay ang mga guro, propesor, guardya, magulang, empleyado at mga adik lang naman sa kape. minsan may drawing pa ito ng snowman, sulat na "merry christmas", happy birthday....jesus. at mukha ni satan... ay este santa.

2. SALAWAL o UNDERWEAR. kung hindi pink o flesh ang ibibigay sa iyong kulay malimit naman puti. 50-50 ang chance na tama ang sukat nito sayo. maswerte ka na kung makakatanggap ka ng neon orange na kulay. gaya ng suot ko ngayun.

3.T-SHIRT. kung hindi statement shirt ang ibibigay sa iyo. baka naman yung mumurahin na damit mula sa sm ang matanggap mo. pero gaya ng underwear asahan mo na mas malaki o kaya mas maliit sayo ang t-shirt dahil wala naman talaga sa plano na regaluhan ka.

may tawag dun eh. impulse buying na kung saan magugulat ka nalang kasi bigla mo nalang makikita sa listahan yung pangalan niya. badtrip no?

4. STUFFED TOYS. kailan ka ba huling nakatanggap nito? nung High School ako usong uso tong ang bigayan ng stuffed toys. kasi nga, sweet.. ang cute cute..

Ngayon, kung alam lahat ng tao na kikay ka, alam mo na kung bakit ka bibigyan nito. di masama na makatanggap nito ay babae, pero pag lalaki.. tsong, magdududa na ako.

5.PAGKAIN o FOOD. resulta to ng pagmamadali lalo na pag gabi na o kaya namay wala ng mapili. kung hindi mamon o cake sa Red Ribbon, Polvoron o Macaroon sa Goldilocks, pwedeng Ham o Fruitcake mula sa isang chinese store sa Binondo ang pwede mong ibigay.

Isang aspekto sa pag-uugali ng mga tao na kung saan ang pagkain ang kanilang escape route o last resort ng mangreregalo ito. aminin na nating lahat na di mo pwedeng pabayaan ang pagkain sa lamesa kasi mapapanis.

6.PICTURE FRAME WITH THE PICTURE OF THE GIVER. minsan pakapalan nalang talaga ng mukha. as in makapal talaga ang mukha.

7. SOAP, SHAMPOO, COLOGNE, DEODORANT AND LOTION. minsan may gusto lang talaga silang iparating eh. kumbaga concerned lang.

8. CD or DVD. para hindi naman nakakahiya bumibili nalang sila ng original na lumang album nila aiza siguera, aprilboy atbp. mula sa isang bargain sale sa astrovision, music one at odyssey tapos lalagyan ito ng sulat at kunwari dedicated sa kanila yung kanta.

you wish.

ikaw ba gumawa ng album?

9. KEYCHAIN. sinasabi nila na maaalala mo sila dahil daladala mo ito palagi. pero sorry, di ko talaga maisip kung saan ko ilalagay ang Minnie Mouse na keychain na to.

10. TXT NA "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! NEXT YEAR NALANG YUNG GIFT KO, SORRY AH."

ah ok.

sige.

i understand. pero naman, bakit mo pa sinabi na magreregalo ka next year? close?

di na tayo friends.

sabi nga nila it's the thought that counts.

Thought.

"Its the act of thinking"

pero pano pag sinabihan lang siya na batiin ka?

aray.

kaya ako, lalantakan ko nalang yung strawberry icecream sa ref.

sana di ako makatanggap ng mga ganyan sa pasko. pero wala naman yata magreregalo sa akin eh.

-E

A Bad Dream. NU107 Nu Rock Becomes Homeless

"You are listening to the home of Nu Rock NU 107"

When I am in my stultifying state in the afternoon. i usually turn the television on. as soon as I found nothing but crap in the television. I turn my music player on. and when it gets too old for me I turn the radio on.

Searching for the only frequency in my mind.

101.9

what the hell? wait that's a typo.

107.5

there. much better.

Nu 107 was not a joke.

Back in High School i was a fat ugly boy who knew nothing but boy bands and Britney Spears.

then my friend told me that there is a radio station that i will surely like.

then turned the radio on.

listening from a cellphone with a low reception i manage to listen to an unknown band.

listening to NU for days made me become a better person.

it ameliorated my life.

for days i have not encountered such boy bands from the past.

no crappy love songs that was sang vigorously by 5 people 4 guys 1 gay.

Life without NU will be hell.

to think after i graduate, i was planning to apply there.

to be a security guard.

a security guard with an electric guitar as my gun and a capo as my handcuffs.

that is dreamy.

Now NU107 will be gone.

I was mourning for it.

it was like i lost a set of fingers in my body.

it was like i lost a valuable friend.

it was like losing michael jackson

it was like saying goodbye to the titanic

it is like 2012

but one thing is for sure.

NU107 may die.

but their influence will surely remain in our hearts.

LONG LIVE NU107

for NU107 will be our home of NU Rock.

Hallo? Halloween

Yeah.

I have never thought that Halo-Halo can be so delicious in a cold evening of Halloween.

i took a doze of halo-halo last night. god it killed the rat in my throat.

with all of the candies and chips inside the fridge i came to realize why not halo-halo? it rhymes with the first syllable of Halloween.

Halo-Halo a Filipino food where you can eat it anytime especially on summer time..

but in my case,

i eat it anytime i like. especially in a cold night of halloween..

it has been a tradition that every 1st of November, we visit our dead love ones.. even not our love ones just a relative of ours (admit it).

we visit. we eat. we walk. we pray.

that's it.

but something have bothered me while we were walking towards the grave of my uncle, oh yeah not just my uncle even from the place where my father's grandparents lay.

well as my feet walked mindlessly to the muddy road of the dead, my mind thought that I was in a wet market where almost every single Filipino being is shouting to...

buy this..

buy here..

buy that..

much cheaper here..

my dick is small..

(wtf)

I even saw:

1.plates and frying pans for sale.

now what the f*ck is that?

even saw:

2.colored chicks..

yeah girls with different colors. with different hairstyles and shits.

no I mean is I saw chicks like this:

now what the f***.

they look like the dawn of the rainbow chicks from a carnival.

and in filipino term we use the word ADIK.

they look like adik. excons. inside the prison.

i mean why must they put a color on them.. what? fashion statement?

if you do not dye yourself you're not in?

i wonder what does the chicks think?

Chick1: what the hell? i look like adam lambert!

Chick2: glad youre adam lambert, i look like that f*cking fag from bruno

Chick3: you guys look like gay. sucks to be you guys.

(SPRAY)

3 mins later

Chick3: oh shit.

i felt ignominy for them.

3.i saw undergarments..

i mean why are there even underwear's for sale near the cemetery?

do they need to put Hanfords or So-Ens for the dead? i mean come on.

even saw skimpy outfits for kids . . . what is wrong with the world today?

next thing i saw:

4.Toys.

ok. with all the neon lights that almost every vendors around the cemetery.

what? see the light and can bring back your love ones? man you've got some sci-fi crappy brain.

I bought a toy, and i have to admit.... it's broken. made from china.

one thing is for sure..

dont buy from those guys again.

unless if its noodles or siopao.

yum.

5. Boyband Posters... oh wait, K-Pop posters.

Last time i checked it was the Westlife posters, Nsync, Backstreetboys.... April Boy Regino?

f*ck that.

now its U-kiss, super junior, 2en1 and other K-pop stuffs.

what's next?

Political posters?

im wondering.. will the dead put these posters inside their coffin?

Lastly

6. CDs DVDs... even Porn.

Okay now.

Like whoaw.

Do coffins have DVD players inside and a little tube?

Like.. what is going on here?

do dead people still get a hard on even if they are dead?

now thats really weird.

its like this:

Deadguy1: wow i got wall street and Skyline. i think its a clear copy but the hell with t i will still watch it, my son gave it to me.. so what have you got?

Deadguy2: ive got this Hayden Kho and Katrina halili scandal.

Deadguy1: what? that scandal was like a year ago.

Deadguy2: i know, i think my son saw this under my bed.

Deadguy1: yah, it shows, you look like a Dirty old man.

Now when going to the cemetery all you need to bring is food, family and a bag full of prayers.

and even a case of beer. bring it early so it will pass the inspection.

now if you'll excuse me, im going to eat my halo halo.

one question:

Have you visited your dead love one?

or have they visited you?

happy halloween guys.

dont forget to pray for them.

never forget the reason of this holiday.

(if anyone asks i wasn't here)