Pre, Yosi pa oh.

Pasindi naman oh.

sabi ng isang lalaki sa tabi ko kanto ng ayala.

sabi ko

di po ako nagyoyosi eh

tinignan niya lang ako at umalis.

Smoking Ban.

alam ko, ang yosi sa mga nagyoyosi ay parang toothpick na pampatanggal ng nakakastress na tinga sa ngipin.

natry ko magyosi nung bata pa ako nung pinasindihan sa akin ng tatay ko yung yosi niya sa kalan kasi wala na siyang lighter.

sinindihan ko ito at may nalaglag na upos.

siubukan ko itong hithitin pero bigla akong inubo.

at hindi ko na ulit itong tinikman pa.

pero

nung may shooting kami

at isang maangas na karakter ang aking role

kailangan kong ipull-off yung scene na nagyoyosi ako.

so ayun naka isang stick din ako, lasang kahoy at hindi ko talaga nagustuhan.

pero nung ginawa ko talga yun halatang hindi talaga ako nagyoyosi.

pero eto lang masasabi ko,

nung pinanood ko iyon.

nagmukha pa rin akong:

so ang pagyoyosi ba ay hereditary?

nasa genes?

asa daloy ng dugo?

pero bakit ganun? halos lahat ng lalaki sa pamilya namin nagyoyosi, ako lang hindi.

asa environment ba ito?

o

PEER PRESSURE?

ok fine.

Smoking ban sa paborito kong maynila. oh so ngaun ano na?

ok naman to, sa public places, pero kahapon nakakita ako ng nagyoyosi eh. sa tapat ng school at sa tapat ng mall.

baka naman onting PAKIUSAP lang yan, at onting "Brad pang Softdrinks oh" hahayaan na.

di ko alam kung bakit ngayun lang to inilabas pero diba matagal na dapat to?

Alam ko na kung bakit to pinalabas ngayun.

Para daw maiwasan ang pag anak ng mga premarture UNWANTED Babies dahil diba nga, smoking can tarnish a baby's health when it is still inside a mother's womb?

pero kasi bakit kailangan magyosi habang buntis?

kasi teenager palang at hindi mapigilan ang pagyoyosi?

eh bakit nagbubuntis ang isang teenager na hindi marunong mapigilan nag temptasyon ng yosi habang nag dadalang tao?

ang daming tanong

parang mga bata lang sa pilipinas.

so anu na gagawin sa RH BILL na yan?

teka may divorce divorce pa, eh pera lang habol niyan.

sa dami ng tanong tinatamad na akong magblog

malapit ng magpasukan.

dadami nanaman ang masasayang mga bata na di makakapag aral ngayung taon kasi napabayaan ng mga magulang na mahilig magyosi sa tanghaling tapat at tumitira ng gin pang mumug lang. masarap ba yun?

parang di na epektib ang utak ko ah.

lalabas nalang ako ng bahay.. parang yung ginagawa ni leviste.

pero this time di ako magpapacheck ng ngipin.

manonood nalang ako ng

XMEN First Class.

o diba sakto sa june pinalabas,

sakto pasukan din pala ng mga mutants kasi it's their first class.

o siya sa susunod ulit

alam ko magbbirthday na ang cool mom ni Kathrine Alviar eh (BFF ko) tapos sa susunod na linggo pa mag bbirthay na rin yan si Kathrine Alviar. Pabati nalang ah?

I Declare Belieber a Religion

I know 9 million people will curse me for an act of blasphemy to this guy

Justin Bieber

An icon. an inspiration.

a boy who looks like a girl.

A model. A great model.

Annoying voice, everything about this guy is annoying.

He is really adorable. fans say.

yeah, adorable like my a**

well anyway.... 9 million fans will notice his....

his great brown shiny hair.

his great on the side cap.

his great soprano voice.

his great cute and gwapo face.

his great intense and out of this world dance moves.

his great sense of poetic lyrics.

his great greatness.

he is a dream to all teens but not even a dream to me.

Justin Bieber is a boy who is worshiped by many.

A great lyricist of the century, writing the most epic "Never Say Never"

such a classic and legendary structure of emotional thoughts in life that can help a homeless man at Quiapo regain his life.

lets check out the wise verses by the wisest child in the world...

"See I never thought that I could walk through fire

I never thought that I could take the burn
I never had the strength to take it higher

Until I reached the point of no return"

Justin is beyond godlike.

he even defeated Jesus with this. (sorry awesome Jesus)

i mean, look at Jesus, he walked only through the water, but Justin walk through fire. i mean

woaw.

thats not even human.

He never thought he could take the burn... now everyone is a sucker for trying. Justin tried so hard and did his best, best efforts to dodge that bottle that was thrown at him.

i wish it was filled with gasoline.

lit it up.

and boom.

he did take the burn.

The great Justin said he never had the strength to take it higher. well yeah given that he is small but still awesome.

enough to explain such evangelical phrases by the great Bieber.

Now i really think Belieber is a religion.

the standards of having a religion is very crucial.

what you need are some simple stuffs to have a religion.

you will be needing a

God

Name of the religion

Bible

Followers/Believers

and

A Twitter account (well yeah, the real God owns a twitter account because he is AWESOME)

Now lets see....

1. God = Justin Bieber.

2. Name of the religion= Belieber

3. Bible= Bieber's albums

4. Followers= all across nation.

5. Twitter= yeah and it's b****'n

Wow i can t believe it.

The new Saviour.

Can he save us from the rapture?

with 9 million followers and counting, this guy is a GOD.

And like what all they say.

No empire lasts forever.

so while you are having fun justin.

you will go down.

down.

down hill.

Friday Friday.... it is a Black Friday

Oh Sh*t

Ever since i heard this song.

Bad words came out of my mouth.

I think even the priest wont even forgive me.

the devil will be happy to suck my evil soul just by thinking a the baddest thing i want to do with this song.

but

now, lets analyze.

FRIDAY

a song sung by Rebecca Black

her last name ends with Black.

now

if we are going to combine her last name to the song Friday it will turn out to be

FRIDAY + BLACK = Black Friday.

now how old is Rebecca Black?

she is 13.

now there is Friday The 13th.

im not pertaining to the movie where Jason Voorhees the killer with a hockey mask.

im pertaining to a day of which they say it is unlucky.

maybe Rebeca is a Black Cat.. maybbe its pronounced as RebecCAT.

welcome the new Justin Bieber

well enough about this shit.

lets relate that song to my self.

FRIDAY

Usually I wake up at 8am or if i want to jog i will wake up at 5am. it's rare for me to wake up at 7, for i still want to sleep.

Well we dont have a 2nd floor, we have a bungalow type of house so i just get up and walk towards the bathroom to pee and viola im fresh.

Well I eat cereals for breakfast and put it in a bowl, when milk is available. but when there is no cereal and milk, i fry an egg and a hotdog. and viola , a fresh breakfast made by me.

I dont see everything, what am I? God? I just see the inside of our house of which i have been living here for 10 years now.

Yes time is ticking but i think im the only one rushing inside the house.

I dont ride the bus in our case. it's too far from our house, i will first ride a trike and cross a freaking bridge made by the MMDA and God knows I am always swearing when i get to that footbridge. it's freaking hell.

It's rare for me to see my friends before going to school. (Unfortunately im going to graduate 3 days from now )

I just dont freaking get that kicking in the front seat. now thats bullsh*t. I seat at the back seat but usually i drive so im kicking the pedal. well im 19 so i can drive unlike that girl. she is 13. now that will be illegal. she will be apprehended by the alligators in Makati.

I dont care if i seat at the front seat or at the back seat but the hell i just want to sit down and chill.

Now the Chorus kicks in.

I know it's friday, that is why im watching Bubble Gang in GMA.

I know it's friday, that is why im going to sleep my way all night until saturday.

I know it's friday, that is why.... err.. leave me alone.

Yes everybody is looking forward in the weekend. why? its because they are tired from work.

I dont Partin Partyin wooh! I dont freaking do that.

I dont find the pleasure of Partying every friday even though im 19 and will be graduating i still dont get why teens party on a friday night.

they say its gimmick night.

and i say

its just chill night.

Fun Fun Fun? just shut the F*c* up man.

7:45 in the highway cruising so fast? that's a joke. here in the Philippines you dont cruise fast in our highway. you cruise with a bad traffic and time really flies while your sweat starts to cry.

there is no Fun Fun Fun when there is a bad traffic.

Rebecca repeated that which seat is she going to take... I mean what the hell? you said you are cruising in the high way so fast and still your making up my mind? now Black is Such a Lier.

she skipped school.

i'll tell your mom.

Yes we all know that before Friday is Thursday and who cares if you tell that to us? will it make a difference? will it bring back the people from Japan who got killed by the Tsunami?

We -we - we so Excited. is there such a sentence structure of which you will not use the Verb to be? (is and are)

it's like she she she excited. WTF.

what ever happened to your English teacher?

What ball are you talking about? freaking sh*t.

we know that after Friday is Saturday. why do you need to tell us? a very absurd and senseless thought.

then afterwards is Sunday... why wont you worship god?

Almost everybody wants the weekend not to end. even me. for i get to rest.

but time flies and we need to move on with our lives.

the next part is the Rap Part. frankly im tired.

furthermore...

this song was said to be the worst song ever.

well i have to agree on that.

this song is a genius like what Lourd said.

so annoying but genius.

making a song so viral that even famous late night talk shows made cover of it.

making a song so viral that in just a week it got millions of views.

making a song so viral that it hit the news.

making a song so viral that it made me want to blog this.

so annoying that it runs in our head for a million times.

it is not even exempted in the songs of which are senseless..

hands down rebecca.

now let me enjoy my weekend.

-E

Dito na me... wer na u?: Most annoying txt messages.

BADTRIP.

Eto ang salitang mamumutawi sa iyong bibig kapag nakatanggap ka ng mga mensahe sa iyong cellphone na hindi mo natripan.

sa panahon ngayon, hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit kailangan pa nating matanggap ang mga ganitong mensahe kung saan ano pa nga ba ang sasabihin mo pag natanggap mo ito.

narito ang listahan ng mga mensahe o txt messages na sigurado akong kinaiinisan mo kapag natatanggap mo ito.

1. "K." - makatanggap nito ok lang, pero kasi alam mo na yung sense na "OK. shit ka. tumigil ka na kakatxt" tipong ok na tama na. pero kung tutuusin eto ang pinaka ginagamit na salita sa txt. o diba? OK!

2. "Ahh"- ahhhh... ang klase ng txt na ito ay aplikable lang kapag may ikinukwento ka sa isang tao at di pa tapos. pero masama lamang dito ay mahaba na ang txt mo at parang nobela ang isasagot lang nila ay ito.

2.2 "Ahh. Ok"- eto ang tinatawag na TEXT HYBRID kung saan ang pinaka nakakainis na txt ay naghalo.

3. "Sige" - Ito ay tinagalog na OK na hinango pa sa salitang "See" "Go" NGUNIT. kalokohan lang yun. kapag nakatatanggap ako nito, ok lang naman pero kasi minsan parang mediocre ang dating eh.

4. GM o Group Message na nobela. - minsan di ko na binabasa eh. pinipindot ko kaagad ang delete.

5. GM o Group Message na nagsasabi kung saan sila. - Dude, di kita girlfriend, o teka di ka naman namin girlfriend bakit kailangan saibhin mo sa txt mo kung nasaan ka? magpapahanap ka yata. yaan mo pag nakuha ko number ng magulang mo, ittxt ko sila lalo na pag nasa dA FoRtZ ka at gumigimik lang.

6. Any GM o Group Message na Jejemon style- Self Explanatory.

7. GM o group message na Journal type - "Im so sad today" "sometimes i wish i was invisible"so sandali, bakit kailangan pa namin malaman ang pinag gagagawa mo sa buhay mo? ano ba kami? diary mo? pero feeling ko gusto lang nila yung tipo na "Ui bakit anung nangyari?" pero di sila magrereply.. parang G**o lang.

8. Txt na Demanding. - Eto yung mga txt na talagang nakaksira ng araw ko. kung may kailangan ka, sabihin mo ng maayos. kaya nga inimbento ang mga salitang "Please" "Thank you" "Pasuyo". di ka naman mamatay pag ginamit mo yan... similar dito ang TXTBCK ASAP sa no. 9.

9.TXTBCK ASAP - wait lang ah, demanding ka na nga nagmamadali ka pa... anong problema mo? sunugin ko bahay mo eh.

10. Dito na me. Wer na u? - sa totoo lang bihira lang ako makatanggap nito pero pusa naman na tinanggalan ng mata oh, ang korni eh.

pero sa txt kahit gaano pa kahaba yan at kamali ang grammar, its the thought that counts...

sabi nga ng idol kong si Manny

o diba.

K.TNX.BYE